Mirror mirror on the wall.

I wonder why do I feel so uneasy, is it all the Mirrors reflecting every angle of my frame? Or is it the skin tight jeans hugging my fleshy thighs?
Or is it my own fear? That people will notice how my hips swing when I walk down the street.
Now I decide that this piece of denim does not own any power over me and it doesn’t matter what waist size I wear.
This is who I am, with the chubby cheeks and an over curvy waist.

Lost stars.

She had broken wings , eyes yet devine.

was a nightmare, the love she thought to be fine.

On the other shore , was ,he, a jolly good guy .

Full of life and a little shy.

He had her in his heart safe in his chest. She had no clue a guy like him did even exist.

She used to be a spring flower which bloomed, but now just a face that gloomed.

destiny made them meet. He fell for her instantly but,

She thought he too was a cheat.

she closed her doors, couldn’t let anyone in,

love was a myth and she wont’t commit that sin.

They were like moth and fire. Can’t be together though endless was the desire.

he touched her sould like a morning ray after a night of storms. She fancied waking up to the dawn

the flower of friendship bloomed , saving a soul nearing it’s doom.

Her dreams she thought, had met the ultimate end. Little did she know her dreams her would mend.

Her broken wings got fixed through faith love and friendship mixed.

The dreams, no more shattered as they were together no enemity mattered.

Now, two lost stars stand ‘gainst the dark sky.

sprinkling stardust to remember them by.

-Autumn.

l

Spark.

To live is to live with a Spark in your Soul.

To find peace at the shore. Don’t let your heart beat at a persistent pace,

As it has to run to win the race. To feel alive you have to feel pain,

Knowledge is all that you will gain.

Allow the soul to shatter , let it break let it hurt.

It will soon again learn to fly as free as a bird.

In your eyes have a glitter ,

may times be sweet or bitter.

There is fire in your soul, it burns to enlighten you,

Giving  light so you  make it through

To live is to live with a spark in your soul,

Once you live like that you’ll ask for more.

That Second.

Those eyes, Big and beautiful yet so innocent.She was happily married now with her best friend and lover . She wondered how happy she was ,she was doing great in her job ,she was one of the biggest female playback singers. As she was remembering all the major moments in her life a scene flashed in front of her eyes. oh. That day… how could she forget .. she froze in her chair a sudden adrenaline rush ,she was feeling . Her soul went back to her room to the time when she was 16 , bottle of organo phosphorous .. 3 pills ..and she would be dead. Her life was miserable she thought. Because as a teen bullying or just a break up can provoke you to take your life. She used to think that she has experienced everything in high school- Bullying , heart break, broken friendships. She thought her life is of no use. Her room was dark , just her table lamp was giving that faint light. She almost took the pills but , then she thought what if her mom would cry forever or her best friend would dig a deep hole of depression . She kept those pills back, because she loved her family and her best friend too much to leave them guilty and sad. She will not die just because of some bully or a C+ in her math test. That second she realized the worth of life. Life is far more important than all this and she has to live it through the ups and the downs. After putting those pills back she went downstairs and hugged her mom dad and went out to live her life.

She came back to reality with the sound of zac ‘s crying. Zac, his baby boy . He was awake and hungry..she picked him up to feed him and smiled at the roof thinking about That second which she survived..

The  sound of the fainting beep  of her fading heartbeat on the cardiac monitor , the panicking voices of the doctors and the blinding light above her … all were blurring…slowly and slowly. She knew she was dying ,right there and right then. She was too young to die, but she couldn’t help it  . Suddenly there was a long , shreaky beeping sound and  she could see nothing. She knew she was dead now, but if she were dead then how could she think ,she was confused.

She heard some noises around her and saw a bright light. She started walking, and she saw herself as a baby in her mother’s arms and her dad capturing the moment. This can’t be happening,she thought..How could she see all this after death because all this happens only in movies. She continued walking and saw her little self walking cluelessly on the first day of school. She walked past the day when she was diagnosed with 2nd stage cancer, leukemia . She remembered thinking “how cliché , I’ll die of cancer , this is not a Nicholas Sparks book, right? “.

Suddenly,she could see her mom sitting on the hospital floor and crying ,howling on her dad’s shoulder. Everybody was crying. She went back to those times , in her mind where her mom would cry and She would jokingly say “Mom I’m not dead ,stop crying “. She started crying but she knew she couldn’t go back, so she continued walking and saw a funeral scene , her funeral. The whole school came, well almost. Even her ex- friends came , who hated her and bullied her. She saw her best friend , in a black tuxedo which she bought for him saying, he should have a tux atleast for her funeral.  When they were beginning to bury her she started to feel empty .

She was gone. Leaving her mom with a void inside her for the rest of her life, her dad encouraging and fighting along with  the cancer victims and their families, hoping that nobody else would die like his princess.

April 25, 2k15

She had tears in her eyes. It had been 3 months since that day but she still couldn’t believe what had happened.

She sat there in the pouring rain ,remembering  those moments with her family.

Her dad, a workoholic yet the best father . 40 by age but 30 by heart. The way he would always be there to protect her .Her mom, the prettiest and the most mild lady . She missed her mom’s food and was regretting all those times when she refused to eat it. Her Sister was five years older but she always felt that her sister was her only friend.                               Those nights where all four of them, Mom ,dad ,didi and of course buddy would go for drives to get ice-cream from BR , the way her mom annoyingly would crib about how costly a single scoop was. She missed all of it ,even the fights her mom and dad had sometimes after which she always thought she’ll never raise a family. 

But today, she desperately needed a family, her family . She couldn’t help but think and curse herself for planning that nepal trip , that trip was supposed to be  fun . She obviously did not know that she would lose her family there . The memories of that trip gave her chills and she would feel that she will collapse and die and would go to her mom dad. She wanted that. She wanted to die  but no, She knew she was a warrior. She was hoping that years later, one day she would not hear the scream of her sister when she was dying because of a huge wall above her. She would not have nightmares of the sight of her gorgeous mom’s head burst open and bleeding and her dad laying beside her so cold, so dead. People would forget about that earthquake gradually but she ,she couldn’t forget it. In that rain ,all she craves for was her mom’s lap ,her dad’s hug and her sister’s smile. She sat there ,curling up into a ball, crying. Buddy came to her n licked her forehead, as if saying that it’s going to be okay ,she was not alone. She smiled crookedly and hugged him .